I have filed a formal grievance and had my meeting and we managed to get things worked regarding my concerns. The Principal at McKinney Boyd is open to any suggestions on how to improve things. So is Dr. Kennedy, the MISD Superintendant, and I have met with both over the past week. These are good men who want what is best for all students and they are not blind leaders. They know there is always room for improvement. I have made some suggestions and both Mr. McDaniel at Boyd and Dr. Kennedy were very receptive to the suggestions. Now, let's give them some time to get the ball rolling. Changes are coming and I am sure you will be seeing and hearing them over the coming days and months ahead.

No one can really stop bullying, as it seems to be well in-grained into every society of all types. It is a raw emotion rooted in the survival of the fittest. But sociologists have told us, that it is not brawn that wins the most important battles, but a mix of critical thinking skills and the right opportunity- and perhaps a bit of luck and Faith.

The bullying we see in schools today is well entrenched in every aspect. Since moral behavior can't be taught in our schools, at least not very effectively, our schools are left to adopt certain rules for civil socialized behavior. But rules themselves won't stop bad behavior, only curb it.

We all know what bullying looks like. But trying to stop bullying is not as easy as it sounds. The most important schools have, is the communication tools. Bullying behaviors have to be reported to responsible adults who can recognize bullying AND put an action plan in place to stop it. My local school district seems to have taken specific steps to curb bullying in our school district, but even so, there is an underlying tone within the community that we still have issues, and in the high school, in particular.

Our local school district has adopted an anti-bullying policy. Schools have brought in "Rachel’s' Challenge" and asked students to sign a pledge to not bully and to report bullying. Then, two weeks ago, a special needs child posted a very detailed threat on line, on a social media web page, outlining how, if he or someone else wanted to, they could very easily do certain things to perpetrate a heinous act, much like what happened at Columbine High School in Aurora, Colorado several years ago. Fortunately, someone saw the posting- and school officials were notified, as was the local police. The parents of the kid, according to their report on the local media, were horrified to find out their child had done what their child had done.

Did the system fail? I think it did. Pointing blame doesn't do any good. But, one thing is for sure, there definite warning signs and either they were missed by parents and school officials alike, or perhaps they were seen, but no one did anything. My personal opinion, drawn from my own experiences as the parent of a special needs child, in the same school district, is that the communication systems failed.

So I have decided to make some recommendations, to perhaps strengthen how schools and parents can better prepare themselves to identify and deal with the potential threat situation, often rooted in bullying. In short, the school district needs to sell its anti-bullying program to the parents and the community.

1) First and foremost, identification is the most critical step in identifying potential bullies and students who may be susceptible to bullying. An identifying set of characteristics needs to be published and provided to parents at the start of each school year. This same information needs to be posted on school social media web sites and the school district web site, and presented at the very first meeting of every PTA, at every school, by a school official.

2) Second- the school district needs to engage each campus and student body, on an annual basis, to help develop and implement an anti-bullying program on every campus. Poster contests, slogan contests, pledge signing events - do it every year, on every campus. Repeat the activity every semester and put it in front of kids and parent's faces. Repetition is the best teaching tool and we do that in every other way, but not when it comes to addressing socially unacceptable behaviors.

3) Third, we have to start in elementary schools, improving our communication efforts and expectations - teaching respect and encouraging the reporting of socially unacceptable behaviors, which changes from year to year as student sage. Teachers and administrators need to encourage reporting, but all to often, teachers tell students, "Don't be tattling." That has to change. In addition, the phrase that this is "kids just being kids" needs to be dropped from the lexicon of excuses proffered to overlook unacceptable behaviors. The one -size-fits-all staff education power point that most districts is not grade specific. There needs to be a separate power point about bullying designed for each grade- one for teacher edification, one for parent edification and one for students specific to their grade level. Anything else should be unacceptable.

4) Fourth, we have to make sure we are getting reports of bullying acted upon in a responsible manner. Communication again is fundamental. How we (Parents, students and school official and the police) respond is critical to the success of the anti-bullying campaign. Since a great deal of bullying involves special needs students, who seem to be easy targets for bullying, because of their differences in character and social development., it is critical that behavioral intervention plans be developed to insure these students are well identified and that the general education staff is well appraised of which students are likely to be subject to bullying. General education staff must be taught how to identify kids at risk. This has to be an on-going effort, and again, a part of teacher in-service training, at least twice a year, once before school starts and again in the Spring. (How special needs kids respond to bullying and the signs and symptoms are different, than what one would normally expect in a general education student).

I would highly recommend and advocate the use of a 24 hour hotline for thr reporting of any bullying incidents. The district should advertise and insure confidentiality in the reporting of any bullying incident. A hot line helps in this endeavor. Confidentiality in reporting is paramount to insure a successful anti-bullying campaign. This allows students to call in reports, when they are not at school. I would also advocate the development and use of smart phone applications to do the same.

A critical response team should be assigned at each school, and include, at a minimum, a behavioral specialist, a member of the special populations teams, school administration/campus official and a school resource police officer. That team should analyze the threat or complaint within thirty minutes of the call being received and then based upon a specific policy, implement additional follow up actions. The range of responses should be spelled out in the response policy. Right now, most schools have one person- and that is usually the Principal, who make all the decisions. All Campus administrators can and should be involved in administrative decision-making process, they should not be the panacea for all decision-making processes.

5) Schools have to identify, early on, which parents are willing to be involved in their child's education and social development and where there is a delinquency in this area, put in place additional steps to try and work through those difficult issues. So many times, I hear from parents, who tell me, "I didn't know I could get that service or help from the school." Again, there has to be coordination at all levels, from school to student, from student to parents, from parents to the school, is fundamental to resolving issues in a proactive manner.

And finally- school districts need to develop programs where parent concerns can be heard, WITHOUT parents having to file a formal grievance. If a parent is not getting something resolved at the campus level, then a mediation process should be afforded, to broker a solution, rather than using a formal grievance program. No parent should have to stand in front of a school board to get their voice heard. Legal litigation only causes the school district to use expensive resources that are better used in other ways.

To those who complain, who don't think the system works or that it is working against you- that you don't have a voice- I encourage you to come up with some ideas and solutions. Anyone can complain, but it takes a bit of time to try and find a workable solution. This requires setting side your emotions, for the time being - which is a hard thing to do, when it is YOUR child that is bullied. I know. I have been there. But if I can do it, so can you.

There it is, my five point plan: identify, educate, communicate, respond and co-ordinate.

Pretty simple.

I'm sorry I did not mean to repost my problems. It is late and I am tired. Again, I am so sorry.

Well I went to my Level II hearing with the Asst. Superintendent. It did not go well at all. I was told by a lawyer here in McKinney that I may get help at the next Level. I was so HOPEFUL! But it's not going to happen. Why do I say this? No, I haven't gotten his Level II response by certified mail, but I did get a personal call from him on his cell phone telling me that "You can go and scream where ever you want to". He also wanted to tell me he had just interviewed my son, even though we had asked to be present at anymore interviews. But he told my son, "I've already talked to your parents and they said it was o.k, and they don't have to be here". Well the first part was a lie, we never said it was o.k., the second part at this point I'm not sure. Why would he call me from his personal cell phone? I now have that #. Why would he call me at all after a Level II hearing that had been recorded for the record? I told him I only want to be contacted by email or certified mail so I would have a hard copy. But he knows that. He also went on to explain that "Principals have disagreements all the time with parents that doesn't mean the Principal dislikes you". No, I can't prove she or anyone else at MISD dislikes me, but when I am sent and email (which I have in my possession) and I am told "We sure hope that your son and yourself will work with Cockrill M.S. Staff to insure that your son has a postivie experience here" that sounds a little menacing to me, since I had just been denied a Level I request, and told her I was appealing her decision. But he knows all this. I then told him, I now have no hard copy of this conversation for my lawyers to review, and he said "I'm sure you can remember enough to write down". And then the clincher for me was when he ended the conversation with "I sure hope your son has a positive year this year". Why would he make that comment to me right after a Level II meeting that we are not seeing eye to eye on? I could sure use some insight on all this. Like you said we do have some wonderful teachers and administrators in McKinney. My daughter goes to MNHS, out of 9 yrs we have never had an incident (Well there was one, and no, we were not aware of it until now. She was inappropriately touched. It was witnessed by an adult. She wrote up a statement. We were never called. The boy received a OSS. Is this being reported to P.E.I.M.S.?) So my evidence I have, and the incidents that we are going through, show that the Asst. Superintendent & the Cockrill Principal are not following District policy. I work at 3 different churches here in McKinney with young children. I nurture children all day. I WILL NOT GO AWAY! I will be the voice for all the children here in McKinney that have been bullied or assaulted. I will continue with this process until I have exhausted every avenue know to man. After all this is over. I will take your advice and get involved. I will go to the Board meetings. You are also right about Mr. Amick. He was the only one that called me. Why didn't the Superintendent tell me about FNG(LOCAL)? I ask him what could I do other than file assault charges. I told them I did not want to go after this young man. I just wanted a "result" to fit the crime. But no. I ruffled the feathers of the Principal and my tax dollars are paying for the lawyers to show me the door. I really don't understand why they would not settle this at a lower level. I did send the Asst. Superintendent and Superintendent a email after I got off that personal call. I'm sure that it will be a "BIG" surprise when he gets back in the office on Monday. I so wish I could see the look on his face when he reads that email! I did go pick up my son immediately. I videoed him while it was fresh in his mind. He told me he thought the guy was trying to be his friend. He said he didn't want to talk to him. When he was asked "Do you get along with Cockrill Administrators?" he did refuse to answer that because he is scared out of his wits. My son is only twelve. He doesn't understand why they keep bringing him in, he is just trying to get on with his life. He doesn't know that we are going through FNG(LOCAL), he wouldn't understand. To me this no longer about the bullies on the playground, but the bullies in the Administration. I really don't want to have to bring negative attention to McKinney, but I will as a last resort. I have been here since 1998. I have so loved this community. I've been in the PTO while my children were in elementary school. I was so proud to live in "The 2nd best place to live in America". Now my feelings are being changed. This seems so out of hand. A trainwreck out of control. No one is willing to put the brakes on. PLEASE! I need insight. I am not special, my son and I are just your average joe's in this world. We have never ask for anything in this world other than what is fair and just. If left up to Cockrill M.S. I will not get that. I feel some of these Administrators & Principals are acting off of emotion instead of District policy. But I am starting to ramble now. It's all here. I will wait the next 10 days. I meet with lawyers this next week. I feel I have held my own pretty good up until this point. But I want an Attorney to represent me at the Board Meeting. I do not want to go in there and let my emotions take over. I will not be taken seriously. I'm starting to get paranoid about everything. I don't know who to trust. We are very concerned for our son at this point and our selves. Please give me any advice and insight into what I can and should expect from this point. Thank you.

The citizens of McKinney Texas are not aware of the problems in the Administration here at MISD. My son was assaulted on 8-29-12. A young man jumped over his head, dragging his genitals across the top of my sons head and then told him "You, just got Teabagged". The next day I emailed the Principal at Cockrill M.S. I called the McKinney Police. The school did absolutely nothing. The School Resource Officer said that your son was not singled out but the young man did this to 4 other boys. I waited to see what the school would do, but was basically told they had done all they would do (move him away from my son in gym). I then went to the Police Dept. to request a copy of the police report. About 10 days later I received a letter from an Attorney, representing the City of McKinney, it was sent to Tx Attorney General Greg Abbott, requesting I be denied a copy of the police report. (There was a recent article here about McKinney being the number 1 city in Texas that does this, and they have a 95% success rate). Yes I was denied a copy of the police report. I then sent a letter to the Superintendent telling him about the incident, never even heard back from the Superintendent. I then sent an email to one of the Board of Trustee's, he called me back the next morning and told me about the process FNG(LOCAL). I started back at Level I with the Principal. She came to the conclusion that nothing sexual was meant by this? He did tell my son "Yea, you just got TeaBagged". My appeal there was denied. I had even received an email from her stating that "I do hope that you and your son will work with Cockrill M.S. to ensure that he has a positive experience here". WOW! I also ask they not interview my son anymore without my husband or myself present. She told me they would interview him anywhere and anytime as MISD policy allows, whether we were there are not. She also stated that he better be instructed to not be argumentatve or insubordinate. My son has never been either of these to administrators or his teachers. She also said he is not exempt from District Policy or the Student Handbook Code of Conduct. We or he has never thought he was exempt. My son was ASSAULTED per the Texas Penal Code 22.01. The McKinney Police will do nothing. I spoke to a Detective, he said he had already discussed this case with the City Prosecutor, and they had come to the conclusion that this was not an assault not even and "ASSAULT BY CONTACT"! This has been going on since 8-29-12. My son was bullied last May at Minshew, students called him "GAY" which he is not. The Police were called then, Minshew did handle that satisfactory. Now after all summer looking forward to a new start we are dealing with this. Now I had my Level II meeting with the Asst. Superintendent. We presented our evidence that supported our grievance.(Statements from other students that witnessed this) We also found out that our daughter had been assaulted at Cockrill (because she told us) we have a copy of that statement but there is no date or signature of who handled this. That boy was given a 3 day OSS. I told the Asst. Superintendent that I am willing to scream and yell until I am heard. That I will be a voice for all the children here in McKinney that have been BULLIED. I brought up the recent incident at Boyd. Did his parents go to Boyd about the Bullying? Did they get the same help that I am getting? When he was beat up in the parking lot did they request a copy of the police report and get denied as I have been? I brought up the incident 2 yrs ago about the freshman that died at his residence in an accident (That was not the rumors on the street). I am not going to bring his family anymore grief and say what the rumors were. But MISD Public Information Officier made a statement that a student had died at his resident as a result of an accident. Why would the MISD Public Information Officier even be making a statement about the death of a student. He didn't die at school, or a school function or in a school vehicle? Anyway, about 1 p.m. today I received a phone call from the Asst. Superintendent from his private cell phone #. I had ask that any information in regards to these proceedings be emailed to me or sent certified mail. He just wanted to inform me that he had just interviewed my son. He also told me that I could scream as long and as loud as I wanted too. He said there is no proof that the Principal at Cockrill dislikes you. (I have that threatening email) I then realized what he was doing. I told him that I had ask that he contact me through email or certified mail, because now I don't have a hard copy of our conversation. He told me "I'm sure you will remember enough to write down". I do not understand how I can be in this situation, just because I ask for a just "result" for my son being Assaulted at Cockrill M.S. Why would the Asst. Superintendent call me from his personal cell phone? He should only be contacting me through email or certified mail. I NEED HELP. THE CHILDREN THAT ARE BEING BULLIED NEED HELP.
The Bullies are not just on the playground but in the School Administration! I pray and hope that no parent here in McKinney has to go through what I am going through. I am reaching out to the community for help. PLEASE. My son is only 12 yrs old.

Why am I the only parent outraged that a special needs kid almost did the unthinkable. Thank goodness he posted his thoughts, instead of doing something bad. Thnak goodness he got caught. But you know what? This young man did not suddenly wake up and decide to post on line- what he posted - he did so, as a cry for help. The parents told WFAA that their son had been the subject of bullying since the 3rd grade.

It is no secret that McKinney ISD has a bullying issue, and it is bad at at Boyd High School. I have heard it from kids and parents alike. It is evident the MISD Anti-bullying plan and current policies are not working. Our son has been bullied and I had to call 911, from a middle school, just to get a middle school asst principal to being our son to the office, so he could confirm in front of the police he was being bullied. This just should not happen in our school district!!

I have a five step plan to improve school security and to help address the bullying issue. But, I can't get the Superintendant's office to respond to my calls and emails for a meeting. I was met with a tepid response after addressing the School Board on Tuesday evening, at the Board Meeting. One trustee told me, I should file a grievance (A Dankel) and still another Trustee (W. Johnson) told me the issues in MISD are no worse than any other school district. Neither Trustee was willing to facilitate to senior administration meeting between myself and the Superintendant. I will be relentless. The bullying in our school district must stop, before we become the next "Coumbine."

OCT 24, 2012

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE McKINNEY INDEPENDENT SCHOOL BOARD of TRUSTEES:

This evening, Oct 23, 2012, I addressed the school board in an open meeting, and expressed my dissatisfaction with the school district’s response to an incident that occurred at Boyd High School on Monday, October 22, 2012. The incident has drawn much media attention over the past 24 hours and will undoubtedly draw additional media attention in the coming days and weeks, as tough questions are asked.

The Texas Open Meeting laws precluded any school board member responses in the meeting. I understand board constraints in this regard. What I don’t understand, is the attitude of certain board members, who refuse to open a dialogue and who will not insist that the Superintendant make himself available, to hear parent concerns.

Amy Dankel, your responses to me in our private conversation after the board meeting were offensive. I understand grievance procedures and I am trying to effect change without having to go through so many unnecessary administrative hoops. I have tried to resolve things at the school level before and it just doesn’t work. Ms. Dankel- maybe you don’t have a problem spending school district resources to defend board actions and administration ineptness, but I, and many other taxpayers, take issue with your hands-off management philosophy and power-down management style. Many of us expect better from our elected leaders.

Wade Johnson, your response to me that “the security issues at McKinney are no worse than any other school district”, shows a gross lack of concern for the issues at hand- and that is the security and safety of our children.

I understand the grievance procedures that the school district has in place, and I will immediately file a formal grievance, to satisfy board member requests and in accordance with District policy, HOWEVER, as a taxpaying citizen I have the right to voice my concerns in a public forum and will continue to do so until I see a change in the attitude and responsiveness of District officials and the school board itself.

The safety of our kids should never be held hostage to processes.

I am kindly asking each school board member, to consider and put the topic of child safety and school security on a school board meeting agenda. I dare you to open the floor for a meaningful public discourse on the subject matter. Your failure to place the subject matter on the school board agenda for an open discussion will be indicative of your lack of concern in this subject area. To not put the subject on a public agenda for discussion would be most unfortunate, especially in light of the current events and public concern about school safety.

I have some suggestions to help improve current policies and programs in place that are designed to prevent issues that pose a threat to teacher and student safety on the campus’ of MISD. Dr. Kennedy, the superintendant has refused to meet with me in an effort to discuss these items, which would be beneficial district wide and not at just one school.

The current school district policy to resolve issues is cumbersome and time consuming and most certainly is not the best way to address a district wide problem. I sincerely hope you understand that my criticisms are meant to be constructive and the safety our children are what is paramount in my attempts to get an open dialogue started. If you are serious that safety and security on our campus is paramount- then put the item on the agenda and let the discussions begin.

Kind regards,

Steven Spainhouer
McKinney Resident
spainhouer@att.net

In all the tragedies that we’ve all seen played out in the media, there is always the question of “Were there any warning signs?” His very detailed post laying out the step-by-step methodologies of creating maximum casualties including details on how to take out the two Police Officers at Boyd High School would certainly constitute a significant “warning sign”. The two ends of the same spectrum are “He’s a dangerous sociopath with a detailed plan to slaughter as many of our children as he could find bullets for and the MPD saved countless lives by their swift and decisive action” with the other end being “He’s a teenager who posted something inappropriate on Face book and who’s teenager hasn’t done that at one time or another”.
One of the obvious questions is “Will they let him come back to school?” That’s going to be a difficult one for the school district. As some of the comments have suggested, there will be an enormous outcry to not let this individual back on campus. Not only because of the fear of the mind of a teenager that would have put so much thought into the killing of dozens of his classmates and school staff but also and perhaps more importantly, we have now taken a potentially dangerous person and humiliated, embarrassed and arrested him. Now he’s been victimized and the way it was handled may be the impetus to creating a self-fulfilling prophesy.
It will be interesting to see where it goes from here. I’m not sure what crime, if any, he has met the elements of the offense for. In any case, if he was ostracized before, integration back into “normal” life as a Boyd High School student will be impossible.

Am I the only one who feels this students rights have been grossly violated? I understand he is a high school student and that limits much of what he can say, but all he has done is point out an inefficiency in (our childrens!) security?

I am an upstanding citizen with my CHL and I had nearly this very same talk with a friend about a zone that doesnt allow us to carry our handguns in recently, albeit, I did not post it on facebook. While I certainly dont think highschool students should be able to carry weapons, anywhere there is a concentrated population without upstanding, CHL licensed citizens or a large police presence, I am concerned for this very thing. Look at Aurora, look down the hall of your workplace and think about this, if no one in your office was concealing a weapon (lawfully) (and im sure more are than you think) how long would a police reaction take? These are questions all concerned citizens should pose.

I understand the child in question is autistic and may have been bullied, but we should never condone the type of statements made by this young man. I have read both of his posts in full detail. I sincerely hope that every parent that has a child in the MISD school system reaches out to the district by email or phone call and let your voice be heard. This young man should never be allowed on an MISD campus again. I don't care how he might have been wronged. You just can't say the things this young man did in the world we live today. His posts were in great detail and very disturbing. May those who may have wronged this young man be held accountable as well.

According to commenters on the Boyd FB page (and you all can judge how reliable that source is), there is a whole other side to the story - the student in question is supposedly autistic, gay, and atheist, and was allegedly bullied for one or all of those reasons. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Great work by the administration and kudos to the students who brought this to the attention of police last night. Timely information was sent to parents this morning.

Thank you to the police department and MISD for addressing this quickly. Like the article said, it could have just been a joke, but MUCH better to be safe than sorry. Also kudos to the kids (I assume kids) that came forward to report the FB postings in the first place.